all those years, pt 3

hi there,
it’s been a while.
first and foremost, thank you guys so much for watching my videos and for reaching out to me with your kindness and support. it means a lot! whenever i felt like giving up my channel forever, i would get a sweet message from one of you and that would give me massive hope to come back and create again.

i want to talk about this video and next couple of videos that i am gonna upload here. this footage is from various years of my life, from 2015, 16, 17, 18, 19 to be more precise. i always have been filming myself, even before starting my youtube channel.

tbh, i was never gonna publish any footage of myself from a year of 2017, when i had emerald color hair and my body was quite petite.

during that time, i was hugely body shamed by people i don’t know and on top of everything, i was also receiving enormous amount of threatening hate messages from my mother (fyi, i still do receive them).

regardless all hate that i was receiving, i did my best to stay positive, i did my best to keep my mental and physical health more or less balanced.

you know, what it feels like, to wake up and feel happy to be alive, and then to open social media and see hundreds of hate messages regarding your body image? regarding the way you look.. in that moment, i feel so small, so insecure about myself, actually i never felt as insecure about myself as i felt that period of time.

i was simply afraid to show myself, to simply be..
i shut myself down and decided to never ever post anything.

years have passed, so many things, transitions, ups and downs, losses and victories have happened. i have changed 10000 million times.

one lesson i have learned is that no matter who you are, no matter which body shape you are in, no matter if you are thin of thick, if you are blonde or brunette, there will be always someone not liking the way you are and that is alright!

one lesson i have learned is that you will always only belong to yourself and there is no reason to give a fuck about what others think of you. you simply can’t please everyone. you are who you are. simple.

one lesson i have learned is how fast your life happens in front of your eyes and if you think you have time, believe me time has you more then you think you have time. so be you, share, post, don’t delay!

if you think you are imperfect, my god, one day you will pray for the day you thought you were imperfect.
you are god’s creation and there is perfection in everything that he has ever created, including you.

for now, this is all i have to say.
enjoy the video, there will be more coming.
all that i was not brave enough to share, will be shared, cuz hey, this is my life and my art and i want to share it.

p.s i am working on my podcast where i am gonna share so much of me, so much of you as we are all connected.
i love you, all!

kiki,
keep shining, xo

my instagram @kiki_sun_shine

for collabs 💌 kikisunora@gmail.com

Видео all those years, pt 3 канала Kiki