If Team Fortress 2 Was Updated by a Bot

Heavy is entrusted with creating the latest TF2 update, but in his keyboard-slamming haste, copies the patch notes into a Markov Text Generator and submits the results. What could go wrong?

The patch notes in this video were generated using a Markov Chain Text Generator, which you can use here: https://projects.haykranen.nl/markov/demo/

Patch notes taken from these posts (and also a few I generated on my own):
https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/4v5s6c/the_latest_update_if_it_were_put_through_a_markov/
https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/5bglc0/i_asked_a_markov_chain_text_generator_to_make_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/4qycso/the_totally_not_real_update_patch_notes_as/

Narration and voice acting (excluding the TF2 classes) done by me. Special thanks to The Conceptionist for helping put together the ending shot. The "New Weapons Soldier" in the intro originally created by Genowhirl70.

GMod Addons used that I forgot to put in the credits:

Stop Motion Helper: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=111895870
Advanced Camera: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=881605937
Team Fortress 2 Bots: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=352877666
Team Fortress Pill Pack (for playing as TF2 classes): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=258248317
Advanced Particle Controller (for explosions and stuff): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=242776816
Ragdoll Mover: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=104575630
Easy Animation Tool (for putting game animations on ragdolls): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=104604709
Animated Prop Tool (same as above): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=120629004
Sleep'n'Wake Tool: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=302654735
Turret Tool: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=107214517

Source audio for the Soldier screaming in Polish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjA6J_AEbPc

Видео If Team Fortress 2 Was Updated by a Bot канала Dr. Ocsid