I Humiliated Myself In Front Of My Boyfriend's Family

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This is Jane, and she wants to tell you a story of how one of the most important evenings in her life was far from what she expected it to be.

This is Geoffrey, Jane’s boyfriend. They’ve been dating for a while already, and everything is just great. Two weeks ago, he told her that his parents really wanted to meet her. And the whole time that they’ve been together he's always told her how wonderful their relationship is. Jane doesn’t know why exactly, but this comment made her nervous, so much so that goosebumps started appearing all over her body when she thought about the approaching evening. To keep herself calm, Geoffrey said that the only thing she had to remember about his parents was that his dad was fond of modern artists and has a collection of artwork which he was very proud of. And his mom liked their cat so much that Geoffrey sometimes even thought she loved it more than she loved him. Jane tried reading something about artists and paintings so she could connect with Geoffrey’s dad, but there was so much information that she was afraid of getting confused. That’s why she decided instead to impress everyone with her baking skills. Jane is good at baking, and was pretty sure that everybody would enjoy her chocolate-vanilla cake.

Jane was now so excited about meeting them that she had a hard time sleeping before the big day. But she also had a really bad feeling that something was going to go wrong. And then...it actually happened. Her bad luck caught up with her once they arrived at Geoffrey’s place. They were approaching the front door when she suddenly stumbled over the rug and fell right on top of her cake, which she was carrying in her hands. “Here we go,” she thought. She couldn’t have imagined anything worse happening. Right at that moment, when Geoffrey was helping her to stand up, the door opened and his parents saw everything. Jane could feel her cheeks turning red and a cold sweat breaking out over her back. She was also embarrassed that her boyfriend had seen her fall. And it was doubly embarrassing that his parents saw her. Of course, they tried to be polite, pretending they hadn’t noticed anything. But this was only the beginning of an ill-fated night.

She handed them her cake, mumbling some sort of apology, and entered the house. It was stunning! All the paintings on the walls, expensive carpets and furniture, beautiful vases and all kinds of designer stuff perfectly depicted the life of Geoffrey’s family. Jane was so amazed by all this beauty that she almost forgot to breathe. By the way, she’d had no idea that her boyfriend was that rich. Mrs. Johnson, Geoffrey’s mom, invited them to sit at the table. She looked like a duchess; she was very graceful and even a little bit snobby, but it totally worked for her. She turned out to be an outstanding hostess and cook, since all the dishes on the table looked like they were served in a high-class restaurant. Geoffrey whispered in her ear to not worry about the number of different knives, forks and spoons, and that she could just use one fork if it was easier for her.

The conversation was pretty awkward. At one point Mr. Johnson decided to ask her about her plans for the future and college. Her mouth was full of food, and she tried to swallow everything to answer him as fast as she could. This caused her to choke, and she couldn't stop coughing. When she was finally able to talk again, she was so embarrassed that she couldn’t really answer his question. Judging by the look the Johnsons gave each other, she reached the conclusion that they thought she was far from the smartest girl they’d ever met. So she decided she’d better stay silent and put some food in her mouth. But the next question from Mrs. Johnson really made her sick. “How was the rabbit?” she asked. It took her a few seconds to understand that she was talking about the meat she’d just eaten. To help you understand – Jane can’t eat rabbit meat, and not for humanitarian reasons, but physical ones. She suddenly felt queasy and rushed to the bathroom. She was about to puke, and in her scramble to reach the bathroom she didn’t notice Geoffrey’s mom's precious cat, and stepped on its tail. The animal made a terrible noise, Mrs. Johnson screamed angrily, and when she was shutting the bathroom door she thought that she’d probably never be able to look at her again.
Music by Epidemic Sound: https://www.epidemicsound.com
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